Note: I’m not sure if you’ve been keeping up with Helen’s blog, but she’s been putting up a good string of posts. A lot of her entries are related to our food ventures, so do not read on an empty stomach unless you want to experience pangs of hunger.
When I first started working in France I became acquainted with “Le Handshake”. This is a daily work ritual in which you are obligated to shake hands with everyone in the office in your room or work area. When the shaker gets into work, before he’s had a chance to settle in, he proceeds to meet with everyone in the room and other adjoining work spaces to shake hands. He is usually interrupting whatever task or conversation a person is in the middle of when he offers out his hand and says ‘bonjour’ or ’salut’. The shakee stops what he’s doing and shakes the hand very lightly with maybe just a single pump. The shake is very slight, short and gentle, unlike the it’s American counterpart which is supposed to be firm and vigorous. In America they say a good handshake is a key to career success. In France, the handshake is key to social acceptance.
I’ve found that this ritual is regarded as an essential part of the French work culture. Though you may not know the person’s name (they never introduce themselves either) professional etiquette requires the handshake. If you are walking through the hallway and see someone you haven’t greeted you must shake his hand. If you enter the office or see someone and don’t shake hands it is considered rude and insulting. If there is a group of people talking you must impose on the conversation and shake their hands — it would be rude not to.
What’s considered the greater offense is if you greet and shake hands with someone more than once in a day. If for whatever reason you do that, you are met with a flinch or sometimes a glare. To shake someones hand twice in a day is a grave error, signifying that you do not remember greeting the person earlier and that you have not acknowledged him. I have done this a few times mostly out of reflex and am always met with a reluctant and often times confused second handshake. The French are very intentional about only shaking hands once. If I greet someone a bit later in the morning or day, sometimes I can see a slight strain on their face as they search their memory to confirm if they have shaken my hand or not that day.
For whatever reason, this daily tradition is amusing to us non-French and we talk about it or joke about it quite frequently. I think deep down we’re all self-conscious about it, worried if we offended someone and wondering if we shook enough hands. If the handshake wasn’t enough to occupy my mind, there is also the the French cheek kiss/pecking greeting…and a new set of rules of etiquette and engagement I need to learn, but I’ll save that for next time.
